im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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