there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
