I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
