everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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