Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
