I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
