How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
