I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
