cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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