she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Less talking, more tequila
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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