Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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