we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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