This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
