you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
