so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
