I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
