i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
