Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
