when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
