I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
