Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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