should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
