dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
