do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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