so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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