i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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