apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
