WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I am full of burrito and curiosity
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
