I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
