I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
