That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
