i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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