He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
