On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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