At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
