I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
