DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
