how can u be prego again
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
