my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
