Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
