if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
