We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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