i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
