how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
