You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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