its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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