Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
