at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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