But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
