that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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