I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Randomize
